Friday, July 16, 2021

The Perils & Pleasures of Tobacco.

Russ Nicholson/ Warlock of Firetop Mountain/ 1982.

Do you need some quick rules for smoking in your fantasy game (those Dwarves look like they're having a great time) and don't already have them? 

Roll 2d6 of different colours. 

First roll is a beneficial effect, second maleficent. Roll doubles and you keep the benefit roll, but suffer a permanent consequence.

Habitual (dedicated?) smokers make a minimum of one roll a day. You can roll every time your character lights up or every time they're in a smoking situation. Casual smokers take the same risk.

Multiple penalties are cumulative over the day; benefits replace each other.

Perfect Pleasure:

  1. Reaction Roll +1 if you offer cigarettes/snuff/tobacco in your next encounter.
  2. Charisma +1 because you look cool.
  3. Wisdom +1 because take a little time to think things through while you smoke.
  4. Intelligence +1 because it helps you to concentrate.
  5. Morale/Loyalty +1 if you share a smoke with your hirelings/followers.
  6. Reroll failed fear save if you light up afterwards.
Vile Custom:
  1. Reroll successful fear save because of withdrawal nerves.
  2. Charisma -1 because it's a low and filthy habit.
  3. Strength -1 because you just went a little bit dizzy there, that's all.
  4. Dexterity -1 because you're fiddling with your smoker's gear, if you're not actually smoking.
  5. Constitution -1 because you just need to catch your breath, that's all.
  6. Reaction Roll -1 because it's intimidating/irritating/disrespectful.

Consequences of your actions:

    11.  -1 of your max. hp now or a full HD off your unrealised potential maximum.
    22.  -1 Dexterity.
    33.  -5 years of life.
    44.  -1 year of life.
    55.  -1 Strength.
    66.  -1 Constitution.

You'll need to work out the length of your character's lifespan and then start counting backwards. Once you hit your current age, you will fail any disease saves and lose d3 from each Ability Score per month until you're helpless and/or dead.

Giving up smoking allows recovery of 1 year/hp/Ability Score per year you don't fall back into the habit, but you never get back your first permanent losses in any categories. Smoking damage might be one of those things (like radiation poisoning) that doesn't respond to magical treatment.

I've made this with humans in mind, but we know that of the basic vanilla fantasy kindred at least Dwarves and Hobbits smoke, too. Either treat them the same, or say that their biology is in greater sympathy with smoking so they get none of the positive or negative effects.

Whether it's actually tobacco they smoke is another question.

My gut says that Elves don't smoke (but might take snuff), and that Ogres go for huge reeking cigars that double as improvised weapons. Wizards won't be told it's bad for them, which is why 'embarrassment of liches' is a collective noun.

There's an entry for Tobacco in the Ghastly Affair Presenter's Manual - gives you the asset of Patience.

Give up smoking. Don't start smoking. Don't scrub it from old movies. Use it for traditional sacred purposes. Fuck tobacco companies throughout history.

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